


Why Gingers Are Evil

by SaraJaye



Category: South Park
Genre: Bonding, Bullying, Cartman gets what he deserves, Gen, Gingers bond over what a dick Cartman is, Half-Brothers, Mention of Cannibalism, Mentions of Violence, Post-201, Revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-10 00:39:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15279765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: In which Cartman's greatest revenge comes back to bite him fully in the ass.





	Why Gingers Are Evil

I thought being half-ginger and having Scott Tenorman the dick for a brother was bad enough. When Mom decided it was only right that we take him in after I killed his parents, I thought my life couldn't get any worse.

But today I came home from school to find something much worse.

"Kyle? What the hell are you doing at my house, you sneaky Jew rat?"

"Oh, hey fatass! Scott invited me over to watch TV with him!" But there's an evil look in his eyes, not the normal Jewish evil but a much scarier kind.

"Yeah, we were just telling stories during the commercial break," Scott adds. "So what happened after Cartman crapped out the fake treasure?"

My crazy half-brother and that sneaky Jew rat are telling embarrassing stories about me. Not that I care, of course, only a loser would cry over a couple gingers trying to make him look stupid!

Right?

"...and then Wendy smashes his face into the monkey bars, walks away and Cartman starts crying!"

" _ENOUGH!_ " I can't take it anymore! "Shut up and get the fuck outta my house, you stupid Jew! Take your stupid Jew gold and big hooked nose and beady little eyes and get the fuck out!"

"No." He gives me the nastiest look I've ever seen. "You deserve this, Cartman. You rip on me for being Jewish and try to turn everyone against me and my family, and I'm not taking it lying down."

"And you're in no position to criticize Kyle for anything, Mister _I killed my own daddy over sixteen bucks,_ " Scott adds. God, I hate him, I hate him more than Kyle and Butters combined! No, Kyle, Butters, Stan, Kenny, Towelie, Mee Krob, Barbara Streissand, that faggy dog whisperer, Harley-riding fags, titty-twisters, and lines at amusement parks. Yeah, that about covers it.

"It was sixteen dollars _and twelve cents,_ you asshole!"

"Whatever, fatass." Kyle dismisses me with a wave of his hand, and they go back to watching their stupid TV. Two evil gingers, sitting on a couch, making my life a living hell. My life sucks more than anyone else's in the whole world, I swear to God. What did I ever do to deserve this?

...oh, right. Guess all the bad stuff I did makes that a pointless question.

But I still hate them.

**Author's Note:**

> I still wish the show had done more with this. Maybe we'll get a random callback someday.


End file.
